Don't Doubt!

I love recording. Being in the booth behind that mic, with a set of headphones on ready to see what creativity is about to come bursting forth, or just being in the control room listening and learning from some of my musical heroes—is one of my greatest joys in this life. Sometimes I come up with a fiddle solo or certain backup licks before I get behind the mic, and other times I just do it on the spot. A lot of times what I wind up playing (or singing) depends on the energy and chemistry of the studio band, and I’m super blessed to be working with some of the best in the business. Jon Weisberger is a fabulous producer AND songwriter, and Clay Miller is an awesome engineer. They have both come to mean a lot to me, and they and the other musicians coax me out of my comfort zone all the time. It’s always like a big family full of encouragement. Yay, bluegrass!

Regardless of how the creativity comes about—at home beforehand or in the booth—it is so much fun, and the feeling of nailing what I worked so hard to get right is exhilarating. But there are also times when I don’t get it right—or CAN’T seem to get it right, no matter how hard I try. No matter how many times I play the same break or sing the same line, there’s one note or phrase that just won’t work. I can do it fine when that red light isn’t on, but the moment Clay hits record is the moment I mess it all up. That can be rough, especially when I’ve tried it a good many times!

The other day I was singing lead for a project and couldn’t quite hit a note, and I kept wanting to try it over again. Y’all I am such a perfectionist, and that in itself can be a blessing and a curse. If I hear the LEAST little thing that’s wrong I immediately want to jump in and repair it. I always forget the magic of Melodyne and the wonders an amazing sound engineer can do. I tried singing the note again, only to come up just ever so short. The feeling and voice power was there, but the pitch was still suffering a tiny bit. I looked at Jon and said, “Do you want me to try it again? I don’t know how fixable that’ll be.” He came back very encouragingly with, “I think that’ll work just fine. Don’t doubt what Clay can do!” So, my work was done for that day. Today I went back to sing some harmonies with a couple other amazingly talented people, and one sweet girl named Wendy was singing harmony to the song I had just sung lead on a couple days ago, so I got to hear the progress of Clay’s engineering and mixing and how my vocals were going to sound on the final track. Y’ALL…

Clay Miller is an extremely talented sound engineer, and I am so ashamed of when I say things like, “I don’t know how fixable that will be” when it’s just a little blip. It’s literally not a big deal, and the things he can do to fix tiny mistakes are so relieving and forgiving. I shouldn’t doubt his abilities! The next night as I was about to go to bed, I was thinking about the joys of the day at the studio and what all we had accomplished. I was also thinking about how I had failed the Lord in some things that day, too. Then Jon’s words echoed in my mind: “Don’t doubt what Clay can do!” It was like a big “DUH!” moment, honestly.

So many times in life when we’re doing alright and think we have it going on, we come up ever so short; we slip back into our old ways, or fall into old sins that used to have a hold on us. Why do we do that? I don’t know, maybe because we’re human and our hearts are deceitful above all things. But I’ve noticed when I do that, I start thinking similar things like I do when I keep messing up in the studio. Things like, “I can’t believe I did that. I can do better. I don’t know how fixable THIS will be…” When in reality, we have an Engineer Who can and WILL fix and FORGIVE anything we ask Him to with a repentant heart, and I shouldn’t doubt what He can do! Just like Clay can clean up and bring my one flat note up to where it needs to be, Jesus can clean my sins and my messes and my slip ups and bring me back to where I need to be. It’s called sanctification. While our sins are a big deal (unlike singing one note a little off key), because we can’t do anything to save or fix ourselves, nothing we do is too bad for Jesus to clean up, heal, mend, and forgive. Did you hear me? NOTHING IS TOO BAD FOR JESUS TO FORGIVE. Isn’t that wonderful?

I hope this helped somebody today. When I came to the realization that God is using my everyday musical experiences to teach me about His character, it was like He was telling me, “You’re still My child, you’re still growing, and I still haven’t (and will not ever) give up on you, no matter how bad you feel like you are.” I just want to challenge y’all to know the same thing. I want y’all to see the beauty in little mistakes, and let them remind you that Jesus has an immense and intense love for you that nothing can match. And when you look back at your life and see what He has done, much like Clay had done a marvelous job mixing the track and putting it all together, you’ll see that Jesus has done marvelous things in His forgiveness and grace to you, and He is constantly engineering your life together the way it should be. When you think you’ve messed up, He can and WILL forgive you. Don’t doubt what Jesus can do!